When Sex is Consecrated to God
By Fr. Raymond Lee Harris
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Questioning God about expressing our sexuality

God is love. Everyone and everything that God created is an expression of His love. This is why we respect human life in all of its stages and conditions. Created in the divine image, God has given us the capacity to love and to be loved, to form and foster relationships.¹

God is truth.² In the Gospel reading, we learn the truth about how love should be expressed in our relationships. The Pharisees asked Jesus about marriage. However, the only thing they wanted to learn is whether they could force Jesus to meet the same fate as His cousin. John the Baptist was beheaded because he spoke out against Herod, the local ruler, and his mistress.³

We want to receive what Jesus teaches through the ministry of the Church. It is good news, whether it comforts, consoles, or challenges. Living according to it will transform and sanctify our lives. Jesus is willing to deal with our honest questions, including how to express our sexuality.

Sexuality is the ability to love and to be loved, to form and foster relationships.⁴ Some feel that all they receive from the Catholic Church regarding sexuality are prohibitions. We do not have to make this mistake. What are the principles that Jesus is affirming regarding our capacity to love, not only within the context of marriage, but in all of our relationships? We are to enhance the other person's life, enjoying their company for the sake of the other, never subjecting them to exploitation. We do not treat another person as a piece of property or a disposable commodity. These are the principles that Jesus is affirming.

Marriage and Divorce

According to the Book of Deuteronomy, a husband could divorce his wife for any reason at anytime. The husband was the lawyer and the judge at home. The proceedings lasted for as long as it took for him to write the bill of divorce.⁵

Jesus' answer to the Pharisees' question liberated women. This is another example in which Jesus shows that he is not culturally-conditioned. He is the Eternal Son of God, born within a particular culture, whose teaching transcends any culture. Jesus is promoting the universal principle that both females and males are created in the divine image, with equal dignity and complementary roles.

Marriage is not a contract subject to periodic renewal. It is an unconditional covenant established by the husband and wife with God, who is love. With faith in God and each other, they freely choose to give themselves wholly and unconditionally to each other forever. Others examine divorce statistics and declare it to be impossible. But it is recorded that Jesus says, "Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate."⁶

However, some marriages have failed (an experience that has affected my extended family). When this happens, a couple should discern with the Church whether God had really joined them in a sacramental bond.⁷ It does not judge any other aspects of what they viewed as a marriage. If someone chooses not to undergo this discernment process, then he or she should not attempt to marry again because of the possibility that they would be committing adultery.⁸ This is not an idea that originated in the Vatican to make our lives difficult. This is recorded as a saying of Jesus Himself. God is love, and whatever He says to us is an expression of His love.

Divorce is a tragedy for all involved. It has affected my extended family. In those cases in which a spouse is being abused in any way, the Church is concerned about rescuing the person from that situation. Just as others can experience restoration and healing within the Church, so should those persons who are separated or divorced as they strive to be faithful to the Gospel.

Besides serving those with troubled and broken marriages, the Church wants to help other couples to prepare and participate well in marriage. A lasting marriage is strengthened by an ongoing bond of mutual fidelity, which can make the marriage fruitful in a spiritual and physical sense. Spiritually, in that they encourage each other to grow in holiness. Physically, in that the gift of sexual union is an expression of their unconditional covenant of love.⁹ Others may believe to the contrary, but it is recorded that Jesus says, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."¹⁰

Consecrating sexuality to God

When sex is consecrated to God, then we are able to appreciate our sexuality as a gift from God that is good. Sexuality is our capacity to love and to be loved, the ability to form and to foster relationships of varying degrees. It involves our entire being as embodied souls.

Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. The very life of God, who is love, dwells within us. Living our sexuality according to God's creative intention upholds our inherent worth and dignity. We do not want to engage in any action that would desecrate ourselves or others.¹¹

Some argue that restricting the genital expression of sexuality to marriage restricts those who are single for whatever reason from being able to love. However, the genital expression of sexuality is not the only way to express love. It is not even the exclusive way of expressing it within marriage.

A loving relationship provides acceptance, affirmation, and affection for our loved one. We accept them for who they are and not what we perceive they can do for us. We affirm what is for their well-being and salvation. We show our affection, expressing care and concern appropriately, respecting the other person's emotional and physical boundaries. However, the affection of the "one flesh" union is expressed between a husband and wife in marriage. This is recorded as a saying of Jesus Himself.

God would not truly love us if He did not give us the capacity to live according to His commands. The first sexual organ to consider as we consecrate our sexuality to God is the brain. How we think will influence how we will act. We are not like animals in heat that do not have any control. Is this how we experience freedom as sexual beings? God has made us rational human beings who have the power to practice self-control.

God gives us the capacity to live as He commands. Cooperate with the means of grace, including: friends who share your values, reading Sacred Scripture, and celebrating the sacraments. The Eucharist reminds us that Jesus gives us the gift of Himself, offered unconditionally for our salvation. His demonstration of love invites us to offer our lives unconditionally to Him, even our sexuality. God is love and teaches us how to love.

Rev. Raymond Lee Harris, Jr., St. Paul's College, 3015 Fourth Street, Washington, D.C. 20017. All rights reserved, 2003.

ENDNOTES

1. cf., 1 John 4:16.
2. cf., John 14:6.
3. Mark 10:2; Scott Hahn and Curtis Mitch, The Gospel of Mark, The Ignatius Catholic Study Bible (San Francisco, CA: Ignatius Press, 2001), 35.
4. The Catechism of the Catholic Church #2332.
5. cf., Mark 10:4; Deuteronomy 24:1-4.
6. Mark 10:9.
7. This is known in some quarters as the "annulment process."
8. The Gospel of Saint Mark 10: 11-12.
9. Aurelio Fernandez and James Socias, Our Moral Life in Christ (Princeton, NJ: Scepter Publishers, Inc., 1997), 281-282.
10. Mark 10:7-8a (emphasis mine).
11. cf., 1 Corinthians 3:16-17.