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I have always attended some house of worship all of my life. Growing up I regularly went to Lutheran, Presbyterian, Methodist, Moravian, Episcopal, Congregationalist, Church of God in Christ, Assemblies of God, and Baptist churches. I occasionally visited the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses, and since my family has Caribbean and Latin American roots, I even attended the Catholic Church with some of my older relatives. My family always prayed together and I was an avid Bible reader since I learned to read when I was three. As a teenager on Long Island, New York, I suddenly became interested in finding "the true religion." By then my parents said I had to go to any church as long as it wasn't Catholic. In the ninth grade I was learning about the Protestant Reformation which only solidified my family's anti-Catholic sentiments. I concluded the Seventh-Day Adventists were not the "true faith." They said in the 1800's Mrs. Ellen G. White, by Holy Spirit, suddenly received "the message" that "lost" Christians had to return to celebrating the Sabbath. She also said that they should look for Christ's imminent Second Coming. I also didn't agree with getting baptized again every time one sinned. So, I set out to find where "the truth" was. I'd spend time reading about different Protestant denominations at the library and continued visiting many churches every Sunday. One day I was looking up religions in the set of home encyclopedias. The line that stood out under Jehovah's Witnesses was (paraphrase), "all their doctrine is based on the Bible." That fundamentalist concept impressed me. At that point, my search basically became comparing Witnesses to other Protestant faiths. I found many of the Protestant denominations could not answer my questions. What really is the trinity? How can Jesus be God? Are holidays scriptural? What are your prophecies for the "last days"? I had many Biblical questions about the book of Revelations. The Jehovah's Witnesses were the only religion that offered me a home Bible study. I started my study on the condition that we only could use my Bible (a King James Version) and I wanted it to include the study of Revelations. As my studies progressed, I became alarmed that only 144,000 were going to heaven. There were a lot more people in New York City alone. Next, they then told me about "the great crowd" who would live on earth. They also pointed to scriptures that proved God's name was Jehovah, why the trinity doctrine was false, and how 1914 was the start of the Gentile Times. I continued to visit other churches who failed to explain the scriptures as well as the Witnesses from my adolescent estimation. By the time I went away to college in Philadelphia, I was now accepting Jehovah's Witness literature and using a New World Translation of the Bible. While I was away at college I decided I'd start going kingdom hall, and no longer visited other churches. I accepted the trinity doctrine was false so that virtually eliminated most Christian denominations. So, I devoured all the Jehovah's Witnesses' prophecy books where "the light got brighter and brighter." Yet, I didn't grasp the whole concept the devotion to the organization, originally founded by Russell. I just considered myself a Bible student. Consequently, I was shocked when for the first time I heard that the Bible had been written for only the "anointed" and not for the "other sheep." When I heard about Russell being among the "anointed" that started organization in the 1800's after being led by Holy Spirit, it started sounded like the Seventh-Day Adventists. In fact, some of the Witnesses would tell me the Seventh-Day Adventists "broke off from the Witnesses," while my Seventh-Day Adventist relatives told me the Witnesses "broke off from the Seventh-Day Adventists." Right after my college graduation I married and started a family. We were attending meetings at the kingdom hall as a family. After I had given birth to my second daughter my husband was "disfellowshipped" from the Watchtower organization. This meant that he was ex-communicated and shunned from even speaking to Witnesses outside of our household. Shortly after he was "disfellowshipped" he left the family and we soon were divorced. I continued to be a devout Witness as a single mother of two young daughters. When I had concerns or doubts, I'd ask for a shepherding call. The elders tried to answer my questions. When I wanted to research more information on sources, including quotes from the early church fathers, in the Watchtower publications I was told to "trust the brothers who had done the research for me." Most of the elders were very sincere. One elder even confided to me that he, too, had many concerns but since all other churches believed in the trinity, "Where would we go?" He said it was that thought that kept him close to the organization and he had learned not to ask too many questions. My turning point came around the time my parents died. My father died in late 1999 and my mother died a year later. My desires to find the theological references for the information in the Watchtower publications led to me being disfellowshipped in early 2001. (For a complete story see the complete "My Catholic Journey" on the Fellowship of Catholic Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses.) Yet I thought the decision of the local elders and the elders I appealed to in the Witness' "judicial process" had erred. I still thought that the organization had the "true faith" so I wrote to the Watchtower headquarters in New York. One of the brothers at the headquarters who read my letter called me. He said he opened the incoming mail at the worldwide headquarters, and when he read what happened to me he had to call. He said my case was not atypical. He felt the elders were already looking for an excuse to disfellowship me. He further felt the elders at the headquarters would uphold what the local elders did since that's how it works. He stressed that there was no real appeal process, and even appealing was viewed with scrutiny that one was disloyal to the organization by questioning the decision of the brothers. He expressed his disillusionment with the organization and said he didn't know how long he would stay. He suggested I read "Crisis of Conscience" by Raymond Franz. I was shocked. A Bethel brother was referring me to what Witnesses called an "apostate" book! He wished me well, and said I should not become too disheartened, because he was seeing much worse at the headquarters. I thanked him for the call, but I was not ready for that. I could not see myself reading "apostate" literature. While before I felt confident the Society would pray about my matter and reverse the situation, a letter would not come for many months. When it came they said they found no error in either judicial committee, that I should review my loyalty issues with the organization, and encouraged me to return to the hall to be reinstated in the congregation. A great period of disillusionment set in. I was already grieving the deaths of my parents and now this. I felt overwhelmed and even suicidal at times especially after the next summer when my brother died suddenly. Many of my friends no longer spoke to me (since I was shunned by being disfellowshipped), and those that did, did so clandestinely. I was really lost and alone. Fortunately, my daughters were a great source of comfort to me and I reconnected with some of my old college friends. I knew, however, that this was not "the true religion." I had the question the elder had said to me, "Where would I go?" I was feeling like I needed to worship God in a way I never have. So, when I left I began exploring if there were any other Christian religions who didn't believe in the trinity. I came across a few, like the Unitarians, but none resonated for me. I chose the local Baptist church because as a freelance journalist I went there covering stories and my daughter had participated in their pre-college youth workshops. They didn't seem to be entrenched in a whole lot of doctrines. I felt I could be kind of anonymous there after all the over involvement at the kingdom hall. I still wanted to worship God. So I decided I'd join a local Baptist church and just keep a low spiritual profile. Before I took "the right hand of fellowship," I had to attend membership classes. The instructors were very adept at explaining the trinity and pointing out materials from the Early Church Fathers to show that they, too, believed the trinity. These were some of the same men Watchtower publications quoted to support that the Ante-Nicene Fathers did not believe the trinity in their publications. I realized the Watchtower isolated quotes and misrepresented these men. So, I became convinced that the trinity was true. I still, however, believed some of the things I learned in the Watchtower organization. During this time, in 2002 I started watching Daystar, a Christian television station. By 2005, TBN had purchased local channel 48 in Philadelphia, and I started watching their shows too. They were all talking about Azusa Centennial in 2006. When I looked up information on it I realized that most of these programs I had been watching on both stations were primarily Pentecostal ministers, and they all believed in some spiritual outpouring on in Los Angeles in 1906. So I started looking up information about it on the internet. It started sounding like Mrs. E. G. White and the Seventh-Day Adventist Church with the Sabbath, Charles Taze Russell and the Witnesses, and some of those 1800 awakenings that stressed one gift, Christ's Second Coming, the "rapture" or Millennium to me. I noticed there were a slew of religions that were all offshoots of offshoots or as former governing body elder Raymond Franz calls Witnesses "victims of victims, followers of followers." They all had a reformation, awakening, or enlightenment. Basically they were offshoots of offshoots of the Catholic Church. Around this time, Pope John Paul II had just died in 2005 and I was reading about him. I learned how he reformed the Catholic Church and apologized for its past sins. I started to subscribe to the local Catholic Standard & Times to read more about him. So simultaneously I started to read about the Catholic Church along with other churches. My research resulted in a chart. There was a Protestant Reformation column. Then, there was a "Second Awakening" or Adventist movement and its offshoot, like the Seventh-Day Adventist Church. Offshoots from the offshoots were non-Trinitarians like Witnesses, Mormons and Unitarians. Then there was what I called the "Third Awakening" all these Pentecostal denominations with the Azusa Street Centennial. There were more offshoots of all these variations. All charts led back to the Catholic Church, which I put at the top of the chart. The Holy Spirit led me to watch a mass on EWTN. I thought about all the new things I was learning. If John Paul II and actually Vatican II cleared up many of the reasons Martin Luther put his edicts on the Catholic Church leading to the Reformation, if the church apologized for its past sins, then what was the point of having all these offshoot religions now? The Catholic Church even acknowledges Protestant baptisms and participates in ecumenical worship at times. Then I remembered my anti-Catholic upbringing-Catholics worship Mary, the Pope and idols. How could this be? I thought. Isn't the Catholic Church "Babylon the great" like the Protestants say or the major part of it as the Witnesses taught? I prayed for guidance, and yet I felt a real draw to Catholicism. One Thursday during Lent, the Holy Spirit drew me to attend a local mass at St. Raymond of Penafort Church in my neighborhood. I was passing by in my car around noon and noticed cars in the driveway. I figured they must be having services, so I went in. I sat quietly in the back and only observed. The next week I took the opportunity to cover a story about a college glee club at the church. I sat around some of the most Spirit-filled Catholics I ever met. They were from other Catholic churches visiting for the concert. I arrived a half-hour early so I had some interesting conversations. The Catholics explaining their faith, the Peter Claver group, Opus Dei, the church reforms, and the importance of the Eucharist. The next week, I attended mass and the priest, Father John O'Brien, was happy to see me since they had the article displayed all over the church. He invited me to come up to the altar for a blessing, explaining only members could take communion. There I felt the transcendental worship experience for the first time in my life. I felt that Jesus was there. I felt the Holy Spirit inside of me. Just being around the Eucharist has filled my longtime spiritual void. This was the sensual worship experience I longed for. Soon, Father O'Brien realized I was coming to many weekday masses. He said he wanted to meet with me to answer any questions I may have. I did. I explained my spiritual journey. He was perceptive (though legally blind) and to my surprise filled in many of the spaces accurately. He explained that Catholics do not worship Mary, the Pope, or idols. He also explained Catholic confession, which is nothing like the judicial process among Witnesses. He said he felt my sincerity. I felt at home with the session. He laid out a plan for me. He encouraged me to join their Bible study group and attend church programs and functions for fellowship-to even bring my children, and to start attending Sunday masses. He recommended some books on Catholicism and take RCIA classes at the church. He invited me to make an appointment to ask any more questions I had. I also began watching "Journey Home" and "Life on the Rock" on EWTN which are encouraging. I now attend mass nearly every day, and I regularly attend the weekly Bible study group.  I guess the hardest part of my journey is realizing how many years I was indoctrinated and brainwashed by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. So, I am a late spiritual bloomer. Maybe it was a journey I had to take. Two years ago, I finally read "Crisis of Conscience" by Raymond Franz, and realized that I was not alone in how I felt or the detours I had to take. I feel sincerely blessed to be making the Catholic journey now. I am still blessed to attend daily mass at my parish, and was recently installed as a Eucharistic Minister. I've been able to write many news stories about the black Catholic community in both the secular press and more recently for the Catholic Standard & Times. I recently earned my master's degree from St. Joseph's University and will be joining their English faculty in the fall. I am volunteering on a scholarship banquet committee out of the Office for Black Catholics. I have also started taking spirituality courses at the graduate level at Chestnut Hill College to learn more about my faith. Consequently, I am thrilled to be on a joyous never-ending Catholic journey. |
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My journey into the Catholic Church extends from my
Episcopal baptism as a baby until my Catholic confirmation and first communion
in 2006. Detours along the road were through many Protestant churches, a
"rebaptism" as a Seventh-Day-Adventist as a child, another baptism into the
Watchtower organization and spending 20 years as a Jehovah's Witness, accepting
the "right hand of fellowship" into a Baptist church in 2002-before coming home
to the Catholic Church two years ago.
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